(wiener werkstaette boots)
made it out to the class.  used to have to wear piles of sweaters and coats even in june to keep all the bad LA vibes off me.
thinking a lot about big shoulders and animals puffing their hair to look scary.

for my early morning anthro class i need extra scarves to make my shoulders thick and big.
its psychological, sure.

i want to be bigger than life, and feel like my shoulders have wasted away.

i love djuna barnes

try to do faux french paris in my head sometimes. but barely have the imagination for it anymore.

told olivia she reminds me of anais nin charcter in the film adaptation Henry and June
so 1990


i have recently gotten over my worries about studying all my big heavy red law books by realizing they are props to make me look smart on the set of my life, which takes its cue from a bad anthropologie window, or banana republic dream.
its all victorian elitist academicica.
i don't have to be smart, merely wear my glasses and dress in my modified gothic prep school punk freak out.
for a second i got obsessed with a east coast faux preppy thing.  but their are loads of real rich kids that can do it way better than me.
in LA they go to bardot and are baboring.
i miss 1997.
that was a pivotal year.
bjork buns
silver mascara
blue lipstick
silver shoes
grey german army trenchcoat.
pockets of philosophy books.
it was hell.
and then the year before i was a buzz cut tomboy dressing like a frumpy masculine clown off the waiting for godot set.
really.
it made sense at the time.
and no boy would flirt with me, so it worked.

my latest discovery is the massive black t-shirt, black leggings and that's it.
maybe shorts or a skirt over the leggings and a black coat.
its very blah.
and the high neck t-shirt as big as a dress.
in love.
MIA has been doing something along tose lines in fluorescent colors.
its just so over being exploited.

my modern girl fashion icons:
la roux
ladyhawke
allison mosshart
MIA

very tough girl chic.  yay.
i made out with a girl six days ago.
it was wonderful.
then my most beautiful friendboy ever showed up out of nowhere.  he is so pretty it makes me feel well . . .
he is like the boy tilda swinton.
if only . . .


think often of leonard bast from howard's end---helena bonham carter looks so gorgeous in the silvery grey blouse.


the bloomsbury group the wiener wekstaette

thinking also of oscar wilde

and the fin de siecle dandy

of aubrey beardsley

liam folan's green velvet coat

and barthes's fashion system

and baudelaire's fleurs de male

and on the dandy

perfect found the 

http://www.dandyism.net/?page_id=428

dandyism.net witht eh tamara de lempicka portraits.

glorious

and think of the especially emaciated hollywood dandies who wear all black and drink away their lunch money and look like the last shadow puppets.

sort of mod beatlesesque 

with a touch of justice

and what is the girl version.

black black black

black leggings

peacoat or trench.

that's it.

and starved looking.

the new economy has helped out with that part.

i was so stoked when the economy crashed and i realized i would probably never be rich enough to be heavy or een bulimic.

i don't have the food or food budget for lunch, much less lunch enough to throw up.